Different and Anew

It’s nearly 3 in the morning. My phone gently vibrated. I rolled over and checked it in my half asleep state. Then I saw it. Three words. Three cruelest meanest words. “I miss you.” I rubbed my eyes and read it again, yep, that’s what it said. Great! I’m now awake.

If these words were said to me 6 months ago, I would have been ecstatic. Unfortunately, today is not 6 months ago. Today, you are part of the reason I stay up nights after nights, wondering where did it all go wrong. You are part of the reason this guilt feeling is slowing eroding my soul away. You are part of the reason why I been doubting myself worth and wondered if I mattered at all. You are part of the reason why I won’t be able to trust anyone in a long long time. You are the reason why I have a broken heart and why I lost my best friend. As I’m left to pick up the pieces of what’s left of me, you once again ensured I’m unable to do so by texting me these three little words. Three simple little words. Three hurtful simple little words.

I’m sorry I no longer care about why you would text me at three in the morning. I’m sorry I no longer care if you know the reasons why I stayed far away. I’m sorry I no longer care about your wants or needs. I’m sorry I have to be selfish this one time to ensure I won’t completely crumble. I replied, in the nicest way I know how. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do with that information.” Press send. Turn off cellphone. It’s going to be a long sleepless night….. All because of three little words. Three little words that came too late. Three empty little words. Three hurtful little words.